Internal Spring-Cleaning, or, The Art of Self-Reflection

Oh Corona. Yeah, you had us there for a moment. 

After what may be called a “global panic attack”, following the first weeks of disturbing information about the virus on the telly and online, it literally felt like the world had pushed the “pause”-button for a while. Quiet streets, closed shops, empty cinemas and museums. Social distancing strategies have had us wiggle around each other in 1.5 meters distance, giving each other “the elbow” instead of the hand. In the beginning, I attempted to hold my breath whenever some stranger passed me (if you wanna try that strategy: jump on public traffic — that shit is next-level-stuff).

Even though Corona regulations have recently been loosened, I guess it’s safe to say this summer won’t be like any other. Byebye island-hopping trip! Catch ya next year, summer-festivals! 

Concerning most people’s work circumstances, the pandemic has bred different kinds of “home office situations”. For some not-so-lucky ones, working from home turned out to involve not less, but more work to do — balancing kids, household, paid work (including all those sometimes unnecessary zoom meetings), and the needs of your partner (who’s now around you 24/7, another glorious challenge for many!) — all that at the same time and in a comparably smaller space (unless your name is Kim Kardashian and you live in a massive villa the size of a small suburban village). 

“Home sweet hell”, or so they say, and some of us couldn’t agree more.

For others, however, home office regulations have struck like a mighty blessing from above. Lo and behold! Their prayers have been heard — no endless commutes back and forth anymore, straining time and nerves. No boss heavily breathing over your shoulder, checking up on your work efficiency, or the length of your skirt. No pointless waiting around in your office chair for the day to pass by. And getting dressed in the morning? What’s the point when your sweatpants are the perfect add-on to your couch anyway?

At last, it seems: FREEDOM (imagine high-pitched singing-voice) to finally recharge our worn-out batteries and do all the things we always said we were so definitely (“I’m serious!”) gonna do (“if I just had the time!”). 

Well, my dear friends (those lucky ones with more time on their hands now) — after several weeks of quarantining and avoiding human contact, tell me — how’s that been going for y’all so far...? 

Already lost those ten pounds you always said you would if you finally had the time to cook? Have you set up the amazing paper-maché business you said ”would totally make me rich”? What about that life-changing “Breathwork Masterclass” you bragged about last summer?

Not so easy to say “Byebye” to the land of Netflix & Chill after all, is it?

I recently saw a meme on Instagram (now also called “The Gram”), stating there would be two kinds of people coming out of this pandemic: The ones with a severe alcohol problem, and the ones ready to save the world with all their newly acquired superhero skills. 

But before you pull the blanket over your head as you sense a wave of self-loathing rollin’ up, because you may not have gotten your butt off the sofa for several days now, hold your pretty horses for a moment. Turns out, there’s more to say about your shitty ability to firmly follow through with new ideas than it seems. So read on, Corona Nation. 

Installing new awesome habits and maintaining healthy ones, including taking up a different hobby, is unfortunately almost exponentially harder in times of stress. And stressed out, we feel (or so yoda would say), just by checking the news rant for as little as a few minutes per day. 

So why is that? Well, when our body & mind feel threatened (think evil virus flyin’ around, business a mess etc.) it shifts gears from chill-mode (rest-and-digest mode) into fight-or-flight mode. In the latter, stress hormones are being released into your system faster than you can say “COVID-19”, and that process in itself uses up a lot of energy from your precious energy conserves. The result: There ain’t much energy left to level-up your discipline, create new exciting habits or businesses, and say no to Oreo icecream. 

Now don’t take this as advice to throw in the towel right from the start and give way to endless hours of Netflix, or level up your beer-pong game. But what if we took the pressure off a little — and pondered upon these very unusual times not as the ones daunting us to brush up on our superpowers, or finally get our shit together. 

What if we instead used this lovely, newly gained time to simply reflect about the point in life where we’re at right now? What if we took a deep breath and checked in with ourselves and our bodies, and practiced long-needed self-care, rather than lingering in endless FOMO (“fear of missing out”) regarding the opportunities this crisis — factually — breeds for some people, and beating ourselves up over it?

In yoga philosophy there’s a lovely term for the concept of self-inquiry. It’s known as vichara (in the ancient Sanskrit language). Vichara is usually connected to the process of inquiry regarding the essence of the Self (with a big ‘S’, yes). That means thoroughly investigating, “Who am I really?”, “Who is the ‘I’ that is thinking?” and so on and so forth, sometimes during deep meditation.

For practical purposes, however, I don’t think we necessarily have to go all the way down the rabbit hole. We could start by practicing a ‘light-version’ of self-inquiry simply by honestly assessing our personal life circumstances. For instance “Am I truly thrilled about the general present situation I’m in (e.g. work-wise, relationship-wise, personality-wise...)?”, “What kind of habits and beliefs have been serving me in my life so far?”, or, on the other hand, “What has had my life go down the toilet?” etc. You get the point. 

By the way, besides our knowledgeable yogic friends, another group of very smart dudes, the ancient Greek Stoics (the crew around Marcus Aurelius and Seneca) equally celebrated a similar concept: KNOW THYSELF (have heard that one before, have ya). That dazzling insight was revealed to them by the super-wise Oracle of Delphi back in the Golden Age, amongst a few other pretty cool precepts to live by. Discovering the similarities between some of the realizations of those ancient traditions makes me think: Maybe there’s a reason why certain practices have stood the test of time. Maybe there really is some profound, undeniable truth to them that wants to be acknowledged.

Whether you’re a fan of Yoga and Stoicism or not, I do believe that becoming aware of the status quo in your life, including your personal bullshit, eventually helps you address it. Because only when you notice what’s not running so smoothly in your life, and maybe also why, you can rearrange your clutter into a more beautiful pattern. And as we’ll have to keep our distance to each other for a little longer we may do well looking for a bit of inspiration inside rather than outside of us.